It actually feels like a million days since I left stress to starve in a dark corner. It’s funny, I usually try to have so much compassion for the shadow parts, but I really feel like Stress deserves no burial, no recap of fond memories, no ritual what so ever….
My life continues to be so different since I said no to stress. My energy is finally starting to return…but from a place of deep satisfying sleep. From a place of calm that isn’t constantly frazzled.
I’m in a women’s circle and last week we were discussing the difference between suffering, and suffering over your suffering. I spent the weekend diving into that.
As I have been saying, I have been sitting with a health issue that came up suddenly, but unfortunately doesn’t go away the way it came…suddenly.
So there has been quite a lot of suffering to be had for the past few weeks. But as the pain is waning in intensity I get to look at the energy I was putting toward actively suffering about this unwanted health escapade.
At the beginning when the pain was insurmountable I was not only suffering but also totally locked in blaming the universe, or my thoughts, or most importantly the stress which probably caused the majority of the problem. And when I look back, it was this “drama” this “blame game” which gave so much more depth to the issue.
I was definitely suffering about my suffering. It was that fuel that stress needed to amp up to record heights. Stress is such an ungrateful bitch. Really…I am just not a fan. But back to my story. This weekend I had time to reflect on that drama and look at my circumstances differently.
I was far enough away from constant pain and the fear it brought to see the connections, to understand the complexity and reasons for it. I could see the lessons and the ancestral linkages for it surfacing at this particular point in life.
And of course, since STRESS has been starving in the corner, begging for water and getting slowly dimmer of my stolen life essence, I have the opportunity to see a different way of operating in the world every day. Especially of letting go of the drama known as suffering…a close cousin to stress me thinks…
Some things I’ve noticed:
Driving is now fun and RELAXING.
Eating is more sensual and aromatic.
Sleeping is more sound and complete.
Kissing…well…kissing is in a whole other universe of amazing now.
Meditation is no longer rushed.
Music is so much more moving.
Laughter is deeper and lasts far longer.
The smells of summer are so vivid and accessible.
The energy all around me is clearer and more playful.
I’ll tell you what, it’s hard to be around stress now because I want to be like a preacher and start telling people about my fast…about the results it’s having in my life…..about the juicy magic that’s just a few days away…
Anyway, today is a little scattered because I’m getting ready to move and I’m cleaning and packing and getting ready to give things away…and I must say, if I can keep this stress fast up through moving then I know I have kicked the habit for good…
Stay tuned and please let me know if I can help you get started or stay on track…