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People Pleaser….please….

Well fans, friends, Romans, countrymen….it’s getting hot in here.

I’m trying not to overwhelm you with daily STRESS stats…how sometimes I kick the living sheet out if, and sometimes I’m knocked down for the count and only recover in just the nick of time.

But today…something new was thrown at me.  My work and rates were thrown into question.  This has actually never happened to me before in a decade of practice, so it’s newness is refreshing in some ways and maddening as hell in others.

I won’t get into the nitty gritty of it because that’s not important but I want to say a bit about the emotional stress that comes from being a people pleaser.  I like to think I have above average self-esteem (most of the time.)  I also like to think that I’m a generally sweet person who holds the highest good for all people (as much as possible.)  And that I give everything to my work.  It’s my one great love…next to my sweet sweet lover…

But there comes a time when it’s done wrong.  Not by me, but the other.  When the pleasing they are trying to get from you just feels wrong.  I think you know what I mean.  And my customer is always right attitude I always keep comes in question.  When do you stand by your guts and say actually….I’m right.

So this blog (giggle giggle) post turns out to be more about people pleasing then STRESS…though I must admit, it has the same physical symptoms, heart palpitations, change in temperature, stomach ache, dizziness….

So instead of doing what I would always do and acquiesce, I took a minute.  And instead of giving into the anger that started flowing, I took a minute.  And I sat.  And I cleared my mind and asked my gut what to do.  Do I give in?  Do I allow myself and my business to be treated this way?  And if not, how do I handle it?

Now would be a great time for a cliff hanger.  But I’m too kind for that (see, kindness runs so deep in me 🙂 )

My gut said, my price is my price for a reason.  This wasn’t a request to accept less because they couldn’t afford it.  It was trying to change an agreement for the sheer fact that they didn’t want to pay.

So I apologized and said simply, “I’m sorry, that’s the price.”

They canceled their next appointment, I lost all the money….but I feel so good inside.

That STRESS reaction was replaced with a calmness that permeates deep into my soul.

Am I still a people pleaser?  Probably.

But maybe I’ll have a good tool in my pocket to deal with that sense in my gut when it comes up again.