I hear that all the time. I also keep hearing that I need to let go of resistance.
I guess that’s a part of me that is still relatively subconscious. One of those parts I planned on looking at later. Well, it seems that later has just knocked on the door and brought a huge car full of suitcases…and it wants me to be the bell boy and bring ’em all in.
In case you too have been warned about your resistance, I thought I would share a few of the gems I’ve been thinking about so when you are ready, you can unpack those with grace and ease, instead of the tantrums I’ve been throwing 🙂
First, a graphic I created.
That about sums it up.
But let’s start at the bottom and work our way up.
First there is an incident…some gray cloud that invades your sunny day. This could be as illusive as a memory or obnoxious as a confrontation with someone or as horrible as an accident. No matter what the eliciting incident is, it creates a fear in you. Fear of not being good enough . Fear of losing something. Fear of being wrong. Fear of hurting someone else. Fear of whatever. If you look, i mean really unpack that suitcase, it’s there. And I’m willing to bet more often than not it’s fear of not being good enough.
So this thing happens and what do we do? Logically, we either try to not be affected by that thing or we try to prevent it from happening, or we create another limiting belief to protect us from that thing we are avoiding.
So, in case you are wondering, that’s what people mean when they say you are resisting. Those are actually definitions of resistance. I was so clueless what this healer meant I actually went to a dictionary to look up the word. Funny enough, that actually helped.
Have you looked under the cover yet? Do you know what’s hiding there?
I’m of the “create another limiting belief” class of resistor. And I can tell you, I’m so good at it that I didn’t even see what i was telling myself was limiting. I was so turned backwards I thought I was protecting myself.
Now that we know what we are dealing with we can shift it. That’s the beauty of beliefs, you can think a different one and simply believe it. It takes a little practice and a little work, but once you get the hang of it, well, Bob’s your uncle.
So all this icky stuff: Fear, Anger. Jealousy, Self Loathing, Greed, even some forms of Grief…all those nice little shadows are just that….but they have another side, all of them and that is a simple word you have heard and used millions of times.
Yes, acceptance. Possibly the most overused advice in the new age and 12-step communities. So let me break that down just a little.
First, you can close the metaphorical suitcase cover and your eyes and ask your mind to erase your negative thoughts about your issue for just a moment, then re-open the suitcase and this time try to see it from a positive lens. And for example, this doesn’t mean that your friend didn’t say that awful thing to you, it means that YOU DIDN’T HEAR IT FROM A PLACE OF JEALOUSY OR SELF JUDGEMENT or FEAR.
You can’t change how others think or act, but you sure as hell can change how you feel about it. And the only person btw getting upset is usually you, so don’t you owe it to yourself to limit the drama and get on with the good stuff?
Next way to initiate acceptance: Accept Life the way it is right now. At your current weight, with the money you currently have in the bank, with the car or bike or public transportation that you’re using, in the bed or sleeping bag you are sleeping in, with the family and friends you currently have…I can keep going, but I think you catch my drift. Your life is happening right now, just like this, and attaching any kind of blame or wish to it that limits you is just plain silly, can you see that?
Breathe in. Breathe out. Once more. Close your eyes but open em back up when you’re ready, I’m not done yet…welcome back. This is your life. This is all there is. Welcome to it! It really can be as wonderful as you let it be!
Next: Don’t judge. Nope, don’t do it. When you find yourself doing it, give yourself a hug and forgive yourself and move on to something more productive. When you catch yourself doing it and it was hours ago, stop right then and there and hug it out after the fact….there is a part in there that needs some self love and it’s better late than never!
Lastly today I would like to suggest taking a moment and looking around you and finding the beautiful things. My dog asleep with his head hanging off the bed is pretty special. The music on the radio is dreamy and wonderful. The colors of all my colored pencils makes me smile. The breeze blowing my curtain is romantic. What do you see?
When you see something, feel it! Feel the way it fills your heart and by close proxy your soul! Feel that beauty radiate into your cells. You deserve it.
To recap, fear is eating us alive. Let’s agree to quit it. And we can do that by letting go of our resistance to believing we belong here and we are absolutely enough right this very second. When we accept that we are amazing, and start paying more attention to the beautiful things and allowing them to crack our hearts wide open….well, I think we will all start making different choices!
No matter who you are, I love ya. I know you deserve to be here. I know you can do this. And I’m so excited for you to do it!