Am I good enough?
How many of us have that question buried deep inside of us? How many of us compare our insides to the outsides of others? How many of us idealize the assumed ease and luck with which others walk through their lives?
I’d like to start an inquiry into this very core issue. An issue that I would guess plagues each and every one of us on some level.
I would like to pause for a brief moment to bring you up to speed in case you aren’t familiar with my story. I worked as an Acupuncturist in Seattle and on Maui for 15 years. My practice focused on more esoteric and energy ways of healing the human body. In addition to healing work, I also wrote a monthly newsletter that I channeled from meditations. It was really “out there” and seemed to strongly resonate with my readers. The channeling and the writing made me feel alive. But that was in a big city, and I had a practice dedicated to the alternative healing style that I had cultivated.
When I decided to move to the Peninsula, to a small town where people were already coming for Acupuncture, and were potentially expecting something more mainstream, I boxed myself up and shelved me in it.
For the past five years I have kept myself hidden. I have tried to stay between the lines and be what I thought people expected me to be.
But truth be told, little by little I have been crawling deeper and deeper inside myself. It’s very lonely inside of a box. Especially when you have things you feel you are supposed to say which will take people onto a healing path that will truly heal their soul.
So, dear reader, I offer to you my authentic self. My healing is my gift but so do I believe is my voice. But the hope I have is that you will take this information inside your own heart and make it yours. That it will become a part of your healing journey.
We each have a different beginning story. We weren’t loved enough. Maybe we were over smothered. Some of it begins in a deep core shame.
Who knows its Genesis, all that matters is that it’s become something else. Either a shadow buried deep in our closet, which rears its head unconsciously and messes with our lives in untold ways. Or, we are very conscious of this deep lack of self connection and self-love, and are on a seemingly never ending journey to shift it.
This fear, let’s call it, I think is cosmic—larger than our individual selves. My personal belief is this feeling goes back in each of us lifetime after lifetime. And if I believe this, do I think there is a way to shift it? Why would this time be different than all other times?
And the answer to that is simple. It’s the age of Aquarius! And I am your intrepid Aquarian. And never do I believe have we ever been so collectively conscious on this planet.
I truly believe that if we could get to the heart of this deep lack of love; we can not only change ourselves, but we can touch everyone and everything around us. And this includes our planet. Our beautiful blue Mother who in case you haven’t noticed, is really hurting right now.
You are not alone. Your story is unique, that is true. But your human evolution is entwined with mine. It’s entwined with everyone you have ever met as well as everyone you have yet to meet.
And I think shifting this is something we owe to not only ourselves, but every single being on this planet. And even more so, we owe it to the planet.
I am going to be exploring the deep grief inside myself and also that which I’ve been hearing from almost everyone who walks into my office.
Grief leads to emptiness which leads to an endless cycle of sorrow. The only way through that is to change your belief system. And that begins with something TINY. Something totally believable and manageable that can be proven.
You are enough. In this moment—With all of your self perceived faults, mistakes, errors, (insert the word you wanna use about yourself), enough. Knowing all of those awful words you have just used about yourself I still believe you are enough. (There is no shame here, I have thought this about myself too!)
You are enough. Yes…YOU!
I’d like to suggest a daily exercise. You can put it wherever you want that fits easily into your schedule. Maybe set an alarm so you never forget—and every evening or morning make a list of the things you did well. It can be one thing—it can be 100 things.
I like evening because I have lived a full day at this point and can list with certainty the things I have done well. If you can’t think of anything then I’ll give you a freebie, you’re alive. You woke up and got out of bed. You opened your eyes and blinked. You did great! Write it down!
I’m going to keep these blogs up. If you have issues you’d like me to ponder and write about please shoot me an email and I’ll be happy to sit with it. This is a dialogue we all need to be having. It is time for us to believe that we can truly be happy. That we are truly enough. Let’s figure this out together.
I don’t need to know anything else about you to know that you are enough. And I don’t need to know anything else about you to know that you are not alone. Both of these truths are yours. They are for you. Take them inside and let them be your beliefs. Beat that belief through your blood, your cell, your guts until it lives and breathes inside of you.
Until we meet again.